When somebody harps on you, judges you, condemns you, disapproves of you, rejects you, withdrawals their confidence from you, it can be extremely painful. Not only can criticism eat away at your self-confidence, it can cause you to be offended by the criticizer, and put you on the defensive to justify your behavior. Here are just a couple of main disadvantages of mindlessly condemning others:
1. Causes resentment
When we feel that someone else is trying to put us down, it causes us to resent that person. And generally many of the recipients of personal criticism are too scared to say anything to these tormentors. But rest assured behind his or her back everyone usually talks about what a jerk they are, and how much they can’t stand being around them.
The fact is, when other people criticize us, it’s easy to resent them and not have consideration for them. Anyone that attempts to devalue us, deflate us, depress us is going to take us away from what we really want: significance and approval.
2. Puts other on defensive
If we are criticized, and have the will to stand up to the other person, it puts us on the defensive and causes us to justify why we act the way we do. Essentially, when defending ourselves what we are doing is to stop being devalued anymore.
Criticism that is so generously dished out on a daily basis serves nothing other than to spin into a negative and unrewarding work environment. People generally stop caring, and usually start complaining and criticizing back.
If we’re not careful, other people’s harsh criticisms can cause us to abandon our values and fight back with harsh criticisms of our own. We have to be careful to guard ourselves against becoming just like the unnecessarily critical people.
Your Turn: Have you ever been criticized to the point where you let the other person get under your skin? How did it feel? Are you proud of your reaction? What do you think is the best way to deal with people who are overly critical, and downright hurtful?
I have been criticized often, and though its hard to swallow, I know from firsthand experience that having a good support system, and someone who believes in who you are and your value in this world will beat any criticizer hands down. Think about your words and actions – it can make all the difference in someone’s life.