Laws of Life:

1.    When one wishes to unlock a door but has only one hand free, the keys are in the opposite pocket. (Von fumbles law)

2.    A door will snap shut only when you have left the keys inside. (Yale law of destiny)

3.    When your hands are covered with oil, grease or glue, your nose will start to itch or you’ll need to pee. (Law of ichiban)

4.    Your insurance will cover everything but what has happened. (Insurance so sorry law)

5.    When things seem easy to do, it’s because you haven’t followed all the instructions. (Destiny awaits law)

6.    If you keep your cool when everyone else is losing his, it’s probably because you have not realized the seriousness of the problem (law of gravitas)

7.    Most problems are not created nor solved, they only change appearances. (First Law of Persistence Dynamics)

8.    When you run to answer the telephone, you will pick up the receiver just in time to hear the other party hang up on you. (Principle of Dingaling)

9.    The call you’ve been waiting for all day will arrive when you are about to make a call. Or just after. (Principle of Bellsouth)

10.    If there are only two programs on TV that are worth your time, they will always be on at the same time. (Law of wasteland)

11.    The cost is always higher than one budgets for, and it is exactly 3.14 times higher, hence the importance of pi. (Law of pi eyed)

12.    The probability that one will spill food on one’s clothes is directly proportional to the need to be clean. (Law of Campbell soup, Children’s edition)

13.    The probability that one will spill food on one’s clothes is directly proportional to price of the clothes. (Law of Campbell soup, Adult edition)

14.    Sitting down on the commode will cause the doorbell to ring. (Law of O Golly Gee!)

15.    Wind velocity will increase proportionally to the cost of one’s hairdo.(The donking principle)

16.    One week after discarding something you haven’t used for years, you will need it. (Law of fatal irreversibility)

17.    Arriving early for an appointment will cause the receptionist to be absent, and if you arrive late everyone else will have arrived before you. (Law of deLay)

18.    Do not take life too seriously, because in the end, you won’t come out alive anyway.” (Theory of absolute certainty)

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About martingilligan

Many of my friends and family have stated that I not only have a gift with words but also self expression. As long as I can remember I have always wanted to be a writer, but being my own worst critic, I tend either not to share my work, or take the necessary risks to accept the criticism one needs to grow and continue on with my craft. I often start on projects with the intent to succeed, but rarely if at any time do I continue to follow through. It is my hope that this experiment will be the necessary tool to keep me in the habit of pursuing my dream of writing, and continuing on even when Mr. Criticism comes knocking on my door. So as I often say, a blank page is an open invitation to view my thoughts and ideas as I bleed my creativity upon its empty space. So strap yourself in...the roller coaster ride is about to begin, as I welcome you to my madness.
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